The Wonderful World of Moo

Trail of thought......

Please excuse me, I'm in a thoughtful mood today. I was just thinking about how I hate the future and someone said to me about how they hate the past.

Now as people most close to me know change scares me. I don't like the future as I don't know what is ahead, consequently I hate change because sometimes I have no control over it. Change can be good or bad. So really I hate something I have no control over, kind of ironic. I guess thinking about what is going to or might happen in the future is daunting. It just scares me the way one day things are one way and you never know what they may be the next. Tomorrow some of the people most close to me could be gone or all of a sudden it's all over. It has made me realise that as much as I moan and groan about the bad things in my life I may be should, as corny as this sounds and as the saying goes, 'Live for the moment.' Why should I be so afraid of something I have no control over? I guess change needs to happen to make things progress and without it, everything would be stuck the way it is. I just hate the not knowing, I mean it could go either way and you don't know till it actully happens. Genreally I prefer to take everyday as it comes..... (End of trail of thought)

posted by Asha J @ 8:35 pm 0 comments

The lesser of the two evils?

It maybe because I'm tired or actually I don't know why else. But I've found myself going back to my old self. As in the crazy me, who does silly, random and weird things. Now I'm not too sure whether this is a good or bad thing. :S

I mean on one hand I think it's not good because people don't or didn't seem to like that part of me and were weirded out by my sudden acts of randomness either that or they just despaired.

However I have to admit, part of me likes that craziness in me because when I'm like that I'm just enjoying messing around. I'm not being down on myself or being quiet and moody, I'm just having fun. But then again I feel like if I'm going to be like that people, who are seeing me diffrently than they usually do, will go off me, if that makes any sense.

I guess it's kind of a pointless battle I'm having with myself between two things/moods that I maybe don't really have to change at all. I mean I can carry on being random but it doesn't mean it changes the way I am or the person I've become since then. I guess I'm just a little confused by it all as I haven't felt like that in a while.

posted by Asha J @ 3:55 pm 0 comments