The Wonderful World of Moo: July 2005

Tuesday, July 26

My "Little Wish List" update

From my previous post of Little Wishlist. Here are some of the things / wishes :P that I have been granted from my wishlist so far;

* Some more badges for my satchel (p.s but some more would be nice, you can never have enough badges)
* A lil Moo for one of my satchels
* Rainbow stripey socks

Some non materialistic stuff:
* A Woo hug (but another one or two would be nice ;))
* A really fun and cool job that involves lots of interaction with people or kids (well sort of I'm doing a summer school now which is funky but it's only till Friday :( )
* To have someone who loves me no matter how old I get or how I awful I may look in the morning :)

Sunday, July 24

The Only Person that Looses is Me ©

You sit in the corner of my mind, never leaving me.
you evade my brain and scatter my dreams,
till they are nothing but fallen stars.
I close my eyes to sleep at night,
in my bed - the place meant to be my sanctity,
but you're still there - whispering your bitter words,
reminding me that you are yet to fade.
When I smile I feel empty,
the void of who I once was still remains.
False pretences lie behind cold eyes,
that tell me I am not welcome.
I can't hide as you sit there taunting me,
overshadowing whatever I do.
I'm still hurt but no one knows,
it's my ironic little secret.
It hides concealed where no one can see,
no one can touch.
And everytime I'm reminded that I don't matter,
not as much as you anyway.
My silent cry goes suffocated,
you don't,
you never will
and I won't tell you.

Thursday, July 7

One of those crazy days...

Today has been crazy, to say the least. By 'crazy' I mean that when you look back you think "jeez". I'm not going to go into what has happened today in London but I'm pretty sure people have heard. I thought that my brother may have been on one of the trains when the bombs went off but thank God he wasn't. (He had gone out to an interview and then was going to go to London after, also I didn't know where this interview was exactly).

So I decided to call my dad and see if he knew what was going on. He, to my suprise, had not even heard the news of it yet. He told me to try and get in contact with my brother. I thought I would wait till his interview was over just incase. I know this sounds silly but I knew that he would be okay but still a part of me worried. My mind was somewhere else when I was in my lesson. As soon as I got out I tried to call my home and my brother. With no avail. Finally I got through to my brother and he said that he wasn't going on the undeground (tube) and that he was going home. When I was on the phone to my brother he was trying to tell me to stop worrying and that it was all okay because I was crying at this point but it was scary. I rang my dad after and he was saying that my brother was slighty panicky and worried on the phone to him. It sounds silly because I knew he was okay but part of me couldn't help thinking what if...

It was a crazy day where everyone was trying to get through to relatives and friends to see if they were okay. Some people were even saying that they would never us the underground again but I guess you are in danger anywhere you go whether it be at home, at school etc. But I'm so thankful that my brother is okay. I feel for those who have lost their friends and family and those who have been hurt, I truly do.

Sunday, July 3

Is the glass half empty or half full?

I am an optimistic persimist. What I mean by that is that on the outside I am ever the eternal optimist but when it comes to on the inside and matters of myself I am a pesimist. The reason being that I sometimes feel like, as I may have said before, that usually when I think everything is going right in my life something comes along to muck it up again. Also in some ways I guess that if you expect the worst then it may hurt less but with me it hurts just as much lol. I guess I am just an emotional person and a pesmist because of previous events in my life (I know how lame that may sound). I am also a bit of a skeptic lol. I like to set myself up for a possible fall. I don't know I think it is just the way I am. Being a pesimist is my guard against the world if that makes any sense. I am an optimist when it comes to other people but hardly ever when it comes to myself.

The Wonderful World of Moo