And here I go again............
And here I go again (I apologise now)..........Hmm lets weigh it all up shall we?! Well I’m getting a cold (insignificant I guess but still), my friends are going to Greenday next week but won’t say anything about it as they “Don’t want to upset me”. And if they do it ends up with a “Sorry” put on the end, in my direction. I really wanted to go, it was and still is the only thing I really wanted (for my birthday that happened in November, yes I am still upset pathetic I know), but I guess as the saying goes, you don’t aways get what you want, in my case I didn’t. I should be able to get over it and live with it but funnily enough I can’t (see what I mean about me picking on little things). I mean I would like to hear about how good it was and how they had a good time but oh no it may upset Asha, which I admit yes it does but still..........As from last week I was jobless, you know how it goes first one in, last one out. And as much as I wanted to leave (eventually) I wanted to leave on my own terms not there’s. (I didn’t get fired btw the company couldn’t afford to pay all the staff and some had to leave and as Sod’s Law goes I was up) I now have my mum on my back, forcing me to get another job. I do miss work as crazy as that sounds but I want something, I don’t know better. The likelihood of me getting a job though and anyone wanting to employ me lets face it isn’t very high. Trust me a whole Summer of handing out CV's and getting no responses told me that one.
I was thinking about it and this Summer should be fun. (I’m being sarcastic, I know it’s the lowest form of wit but do you know what I don’t care) As much as I do want to go to this Summer school at university I know it won’t actually happen. It will probably end up like last year, me sitting at home, jobless may I add, while everyone else goes off with all these exciting places to go and things to do. It’s not that it is to quote “my fault” - try having a mum who works 24/7, a dad who is seriously ill, the likelihood of me going anywhere exciting let;s face it is slim. Then they coming back with news of what they did, who they saw, impressive tans, saying how tired they are from doing all these things etc. and what do I have to tell? Nothing. So I guess it’s back in a full circle to sitting doing not that much at all this Summer.
Because nothing is what I seem to do best. I seem to be lacking in anything exciting, yes I am a bore. When I do end up doing something it’s because people have taken pity on me or I’m doing something my friends do. In other words nicking their “thing”. Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful but what have I ever done that is that original or by myself?! I wanted to go to Summer Uni but I have a funny feeling like I said before that won’t happen.
So here I’ll be still moaning and bitching about what I haven’t got, doing nothing, not going anywhere in particular.
posted by Asha J @ 3:30 pm
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