The Wonderful World of Moo

I wish I was, I wish I wasn't...

In some ways it makes me sad to say goodbye to yesterday...


It's funny how some of our most missed memories are those of our childhood. In some ways I like getting older and in some ways I miss how things used to be. Like when I was younger my parents used to make decisions for me and now I have to make up my mind for myself. If it get it wrong then I only have myself to blame. Sometimes I wonder if I am making the right decision, I have never been to good at it either and now it really is up to me.

On the other hand it gives me more freedom and I am no longer wrapped up as much in cotton wool as I used to be. My dad has in some respects has learnt that I am very head strong. My mum is now able to tell me things that she never could and as much as she sometimes tells me too much about things, it makes her feel better to get things off her chest. I don't tell her everything but I'm glad I can talk to her and have that option.

When I was younger I used to live in this little bubble, kind of like my own world. I thought that nothing could harm me and that my mum and dad would always be there. I remember watching 'Jack and the Beanstalk' when I was around 3 or 4, I think and crying when the giant fell and died. I told my mum that I didn't want her to get old and die and she told me that everyone has to die one day.

I guess in some ways I'm clinging onto how things used to be and wishing they wouldn't change or that they ever have. I'm hoping if I don't have to deal with it will disappear but it stays, it lingers. I also hope that things don't all of a sudden go even more wrong in my life. I have this bad habbit of worrying and over analysing situations and pondering endlessly about how they will work out. In some ways I'm scared of getting it wrong, making mistakes and I know that everyone makes them. It's like if I really think that I'm making the right decision then it turns out it wasn't right, it would throw me. Whenever I faulter I'm warry of doing the same thing again and spiralling outta control.


" Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide"

posted by Asha J @ 3:44 PM